When The Call Comes From Inside The House: Embracing My Path In Media
Media and entertainment was the farthest thing from what I envisioned myself doing. I always was a proficient speaker and a skilled writer, but I always envisioned myself working more behind the scenes. I never thought my personality would be my paycheck. I knew I was a good conversationalist - I piloted a podcast as a side project and people enjoyed my interviews, I also knew I could build an audience if I worked at it - I had a very miniscule YouTube following. It’s funny how I - the girl who ran for student body president, the oratorical contest winner, the one who keynoted events as a guest speaker - thought I would be in the background for the majority of my career. That’s one of the ways business school influenced me - it made me think that working behind the scenes was more prestigious than being the talent yourself.
Did business school make me shrink myself? I didn’t want to admit this, but I have to say it did. I was young and impressionable when I entered higher education. I became blind to my own gifts and potential because I was shown the image of a CEO or business leader that was far from who I am. There were no case studies on women like me - a creative who just happened to find herself in business. My personality was picked apart in these spaces. I was “too soft” because I was compassionate, “too idealistic” because I wanted to be an entrepreneur, and “too loud” because I was outspoken. I remember being told to “shrink myself” when I was elected to an executive leadership role in college. When you are young, and you hear these things, you panic. You feel small. Even with these experiences, God still found a way to reach me. His voice was faint in my early 20s, but in retrospect, He's always spoken.
I was working behind the scenes for an event; it was my job to book speakers for our lineup. I ended up getting on the phone with the booking agent of an entrepreneurial mogul. We talked, and she warmly greeted me. We had a light discussion, and she asked me a couple of questions. She started with “What is your role in this group?” I told her that I was booking speakers for an event. Her response was “Hmm…so you are working in the background? You’re not supposed to be working in the background, you are supposed to be in the front, the face - you are great with people.” I was floored. How did she know that about me in just a few minutes of conversation? Looking back, I didn’t believe her. I was the organizer, the administrator, in my eyes - nothing about me screamed “the talent.” I’m far from glamorous and have an unassuming demeanor.
I never thought I’d go the media and entertainment route - even though it was staring me in the face. Maybe it’s because I grew up being the odd one out in school. Or my general aversion to social media’s trappings. My childhood was filled with dancing in talent shows and acting in plays. The public speaking competitions and events. The student government elections. When I was rejected from the business clubs in college, I got a spot as an opinion columnist for the campus paper. Students and professors alike would stop me and tell me they loved my writing. I executive produced a podcast for others in college. I even started writing for a second publication in college, a female-centric digital magazine, because I was THAT bored. People loved when I hosted panels and served as an MC. It was always there, I just needed to own it.
After shutting down my business, I got the nudge to go into content creation. The tech company, while noble, kept me behind the scenes. What I envisioned as liberating, was actually a prison to my gifting. It distracted me from what I was truly called to. I now recognize why the company had to fail - I had to learn to trust in my own voice first, to believe that I was capable of greatness, even in a path that I didn’t originally envision myself in. As I write this blog, I am in awe of the handiwork and plans of God. He truly thinks and conceives on a level that I couldn’t even conceptualize. His plans for me were far higher. I saw a more conventional path for myself - work, start a business, build wealth, retire. God saw more for me - the opportunity to use my personality to inspire, uplift, heal, and connect. He saw the gifts in me I didn’t even recognize in myself.
Yes, this blog is about these types of entrepreneurial stories. The authentic stories that are messy, non-linear, and full of screw ups. The moments where we overlook our own talents because they come so naturally to us. The decision to align our effort with God’s will - which sometimes comes after failure or diverging from our true path. These are all some of the many lessons I’ve learned from this journey, and just a fraction of what I look forward to sharing with you.
